Fifth
Commandment: Honor your father and your mother
Text – Exodus
20:12
Hebrew:
כבד את־אביך ואת־אמך למען יארכון ימיך על האדמה אשׁר־יהוה אלהיך נתן לך׃
Literal
translation:
Honor your father and your mother,
so that your days may be long in the land that YHVH your God gives you.
Literal and
grammatical analysis
· כַּבֵּד (kabbéd):
– Imperative from the root כבד (kavéd) , which means “to give weight,
value, respect, give honor.”
– Honoring is not just obeying or caring: it involves recognizing the
value, role, and dignity of the father and mother.
· אֶת־אָבִיךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּךָ (et avija ve'et
imeja):
– “To your father and your mother” (second masculine singular: individual and
personal).– The mother is mentioned together with the father, which elevated her
dignity in a patriarchal culture.
· לְמַעַן God יָמֶיךָ (lema'an
ya'arijun yameja):
– “That your days may be long” – Promise of longevity,
prosperity, and stability in the land.
– This promise is given to an obedient nation but
also to each faithful individual .
· עַל הָאֲדָמָה (al ha'adamá):
– “On the land” – In the original context it refers to the promised land
, but spiritually it alludes to a full and stable
life .
✨ Literal meaning and practical application
This
commandment goes beyond respect in childhood:
1. Obedience in
Youth
– Cf. Proverbs 1:8–9: “Do not despise your mother’s teaching…”
2. Care in old age
– Jesus rebuked those who invalidated this commandment with religious excuses
(Mark 7:9–13). – He himself, from the cross, ensured the care
of his mother (John 19:26–27).
3. Gratitude,
attention and justice
– Honoring involves recognizing the efforts of those who gave us life and
seeking their well-being.
Spiritual
interpretation
· Parents as
primary authority figures
– Honoring them lays the foundation for respecting all legitimate authority ,
including God.
– Family rebellion is the beginning of social and
spiritual rebellion.
· Transmission of
God's knowledge
– In Hebrew culture, the home was the place where the commandments
were taught (Deut. 6:7).
– Honoring parents also meant honoring the spiritual legacy they
passed on.
易 Modern
application
· In
modern societies, where the figure of family authority has weakened, this
commandment remains in force as the basis of social and
spiritual order .
· Parental
abandonment, verbal or emotional abuse, and indifference are
current forms of dishonor.
· Instead,
honor is manifested in:
o
Affective and economic attention.
o
Genuine gratitude.
o
Listen to and
value their advice, even if you don't always follow it literally.
Paul reaffirms this in the New Testament
“Honor your father and your mother,
which is the first commandment with promise, that
it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”
— Ephesians
6:2–3
NOW, taking into account Leviticus 20:9, Exodus 21:17 and
Exodus 20:12, I integrate them here and expand its meaning in light of the whole Torah.
Leviticus 20:9: "For
whoever curses his father or [and, in the original Hebrew] his mother shall
surely be put to death..."
Exodus 21:17: "And he
who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death."
· Here, the
Hebrew word used is קלל ( qalal ), which does not mean "to
curse" in the modern sense, but rather to belittle, to treat lightly. It is not
necessary to utter a verbal curse, but to dishonor, to not give due value.
Therefore, when Jesus condemned those who said that their money was
"korban" (an offering to God) and did not help their parents, he was
referring to this principle: the commandment to honor parents includes caring
for them materially.
· The Hebrew
expression used in both verses “he will certainly die” is the translation of
the duplication מות יומת (mo t yumat), literally meaning “dying, will
die,” implies a future judgment rather than an immediate execution. That is, it
refers to the two deaths: physical death (as part of the human
condition) and the final death, the second death after judgment,
as expressed in Hebrews 9:27: “It is appointed for men to die once, but after
this comes judgment.”
Exodus 20:12, “ Honor your father and your mother, that your
days may be long in the land that the Lord your
God is giving you ” [Fifth Commandment]
Jesus Christ
explained it clearly when he confronted the Pharisees in Matthew 15:3-6:
Matthew
15:3–6: "[3] But he answered and said to them [the scribes and Pharisees,
who were the orthodox Jews of today], Why do you also transgress the
commandment of God [The fifth] for the sake of your tradition?
[4] For God
commanded, saying, Honor thy father and thy mother; and, He that curseth his
father [“and,” in Hebrew] or his mother, let him die the death. [Jesus put them
together to teach a vital truth; and “…let him die the death” {or better yet,
“he will die dying,” which is the correct translation} refers to physical death
and the second and final death.]
[5] But you
say, Whoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is my offering
to God , whatever by which you might be helped ;
[6] He
shall no longer honor his father or his mother. Thus you have made
void the commandment of God by your tradition.
Jesus Christ
purposely put these two passages together. He taught that the fifth commandment,
“Honor your father and your mother,” includes not only verbal or emotional
respect, but also adequate financial support, especially when
parents are in need. He denounces the use of the tradition of the Korban (a
declared offering to God) as an excuse for not helping parents. Thus, he
makes it clear that the commandment to honor (and support) parents takes
precedence over any religious offering. The scribes and Pharisees were
shirking their responsibility by claiming that their resources were dedicated
to God (Korban), thus nullifying God’s command to honor father
and mother.
1 Timothy
5:3-5 speaks about caring for widows, emphasizing that the church should help
those truly in need, but also that children and descendants have the
responsibility to care for their families. This confirms that honoring parents
is not a symbolic act, but a real and tangible form of support.
On the other
hand, Proverbs 3:9-18 mentions the importance of honoring God with riches and
firstfruits. If we relate this to the fifth commandment, we could interpret
financial support for parents as a way of honoring both them and God.
Jesus
reinforced the idea that parental care cannot be replaced by religious
offerings.
Integrated
Biblical Conclusion
|
Text |
Content |
Implication |
|
Exodus 20:12 |
Honoring parents to prolong life |
Direct promise of personal and
national stability |
|
Leviticus 20:9 |
Cursing parents brings the death
penalty |
Contempt = spiritual judgment |
|
Exodus 21:17 |
Verbal cursing is also condemned |
Honor is deep, not superficial |
|
Mark 7:10–13 |
Jesus denounces religious
hypocrisy |
To honor is also to sustain
economically |
|
Deut. 27:16 |
Dishonor brings a curse upon oneself |
It involves spiritual responsibility |
I will digress to delve into the concept of “corban” (קָרְבָּ ), its
use in the Torah, and how Jesus denounced it in Mark 7. This analysis will also
help to better understand the fifth commandment, since
it directly touches on the relationship between religious
offerings and family duties.
1. What
exactly does corban ( קָרְבָּן ) mean?
· The
word קָרְבָּן
( qorbán ),
Strong's H7133, comes from the root קרב ( qarav ) meaning
" to draw near, to approach ."
· Literally,
corban
is something brought or brought near to God.
· It is
translated as offering, sacrifice, gift, or
even gift dedicated to the sacred .
But it does not always involve
bloody sacrifice: it can be anything consecrated to God.
2. How many kinds of corban existed in the Torah?
In the Levitical system, the term corban covers
different types of offerings. Here are the main ones:
A. Corbán Olá ( עֹלָה ) –
Holocaust
–
It was burned completely.
– It was an offering of pleasing aroma, complete consecration (Leviticus 1).
B. Corbán Minjá ( מִנְחָה ) –
Vegetable offering
–
Flour, oil, incense.
– Thanksgiving or tribute (Leviticus 2).
C. Corbán Shelamim ( שְׁלָמִים ) – Peace
offering
–
It was shared between the altar, the priest, and the offerer.
– Celebration, communion, gratitude (Lev. 3).
D. Corban Chattat ( חַטָּאת ) – Sin
Offering
–
For unintentional atonement (Leviticus 4).
E. Corbán Asham ( אָשָׁם ) – Guilt
offering
–
For sins that required restitution (Leviticus 5).
There were also votive offerings ( נֶדֶר, neder) and voluntary
offerings ( נְדָבָה, nedavá) . All
could be considered "corban" if they were consecrated to God or the
Temple.
3. The
case reported by Jesus – Mark 7:11
Text:
“But you say, ‘ If a man says to
his father or mother, “Corban” (that is, a gift to God) is whatever you could
have been helped with, ’ you no longer allow him to do anything for his
father or his mother…”
Here, the
"Corban" isn't necessarily something given to the temple . The
person simply declares something "consecrated" or
"dedicated to God," thereby exempting himself
from using it to help his parents.
This
can have several nuances:
A. Corbán as a legal
excuse for not helping
The man does not necessarily give the object or money to the
temple, he only declares it as consecrated, and
therefore, non-transferable.
It's like saying, "This is
'untouchable' because it's sacred," even though it remains in
your possession and use.
Thus,
the scribal tradition allowed:
· To
escape from the moral duty to honor parents with sustenance.
· Justify yourself
religiously for not doing it.
This
completely contradicts the spirit of the fifth commandment.
B. Jesus does not condemn Corban itself, but its hypocritical and
manipulative use
The Mosaic law allowed for vows and voluntary
offerings (cf. Numbers 30), but Jesus criticizes that:
· The vow to the
temple was considered more sacred than justice towards parents.
· The
concept of Corban was used to invalidate a
commandment of God with a human rule.
Conclusion : Was
Corban necessarily something from the temple?
Not necessarily. The Corban in Mark
7 seems to refer to a religious promise or declaration,
without implying actual commitment to the temple.
✔ It can be any good or
property declared as consecrated,
✔ But its main use in this context was to avoid the moral
duty to help parents.
In
summary
|
Concept |
Meaning |
Application
in Mark 7 |
|
Corbán |
Offering, gift, consecrated thing |
Religious declaration that made a good
"untouchable" |
|
Kinds |
Holocaust, vegetable, peace, sin, guilt,
vote, voluntary |
It does not necessarily apply to a sacrifice
category |
|
Problem |
It was not the vote itself, but using
it to avoid honoring parents |
Jesus denounces the hypocrisy and tradition
that invalidates divine law |
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT
It must be clarified once and for all that
the Fifth Commandment has been distorted for centuries. It is not
addressed to small children, but to responsible
adults, like all the other commandments of the Decalogue.
I'm
going to go deeper into it and organize it on a biblical and logical basis:
1. All Ten
Commandments are for adults
The Ten Commandments were given to an assembly of
thoughtful adults on Mount Sinai. They were not moral lessons for
children, but fundamental laws of the national covenant,
directed toward:
· Parents
· Tribal
leaders
· Men and
women responsible for their actions
Proof
of this:
· “ You shall not
commit adultery ” – a child cannot commit adultery.
· “ You shall not
covet your neighbor’s wife ” – clearly directed at adult men.
· “ You shall not
steal, you shall not murder, you shall not bear false witness ” – all
acts committed by adults responsible for their decisions.
Therefore, it would be illogical and artificial to
separate the fifth commandment as if it were addressed to children.
2. "Honor"
means to value, estimate, appraise, assign—not merely obey
The verb כַּבֵּד ( kabbéd ) is not
simply to obey or to “respect” superficially. It means:
· Give real weight
(economic, emotional, social)
· Estimate the real
value of someone or something
· Assign worthily
what corresponds
In
the context of the elderly or needy parent, this
implies:
· Support
him financially
· Do not
despise their age or weakness
· Value
your role even if you are physically or emotionally impaired
In this context, the fifth commandment is a call to
adult responsibility to care for and support parents in their old age.
3. Jesus interprets the commandment as economic responsibility
As we saw in Mark 7:10–13, Jesus
confronts the Pharisees for allowing someone to avoid supporting their parents
by using religious excuses.
“You don’t let him do anything for
his father or his mother anymore.”
– This is action, not just emotion or words.
Jesus not only affirms the commandment, but restores it to
its original meaning the responsible adult
child must honor his parents with
his support, his attention, and his commitment.
4. Honor in the law also included material provision
Even in Israelite civil law, abandoning or
despising parents was a serious sin, and there is no mention that this
applied to children only.
Example:
Leviticus 19:32
“You shall rise before the gray-haired, and honor the face of the aged…”
This commandment has value for the entire
adult community, not just for children.
✅ Conclusion: The fifth commandment is an order for adults.
|
Badly
taught idea |
What
Scripture Really Says |
It is a commandment for children |
It is a law for responsible adults |
|
To honor is to respect or obey |
To honor is to give value, to care for, to sustain |
|
It refers only to parental authority |
It refers to the duty to repay and
support parents |
|
It can be symbolic or sentimental |
It is concrete, social, economic, and moral |
This approach restores to the fifth commandment its dignity, weight
and true context.
BUT INCREDIBLY THERE IS EVEN MORE
REGARDING THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT, THE SPIRITUAL DIMENSION AS MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY OF GOD
What follows is legitimate, and is in line with
the highest spiritual meaning of the Torah: that the
commandments have a literal, ethical, and also typological
and spiritual dimension, as the prophets, Jesus, and the apostles taught.
I want to develop this carefully, because
it has solid biblical roots and an edifying meaning.
1. Spiritual
dimension of the fifth commandment
“Honor your father and your
mother...”
→ What if it also refers to your heavenly Father and
your spiritual mother?
The Torah and the prophets frequently
use familiar language to speak about our relationship with God:
Isaiah
64:8
“Now therefore, YHVH, you are our Father; we
are the clay, and you formed us...”
Proverbs
2:3–4
"If you cry out to understanding, And raise your voice to prudence; If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for precious treasures;"
It speaks of knowledge and wisdom
as “mother” and “sister,” personifying spiritual understanding.
2. God as spiritual
Father
· He is
the source of spiritual life, not just physical.
· He
begets us through his
Spirit (John 3:5; 1 Peter 1:23).
· He
corrects us and forms our
character (Hebrews 12:5–10).
Honoring our spiritual Father involves:
· Seek his will
before our own.
· To dedicate our
resources and time to what He wants to do in the world.
· Reject spiritual
selfishness that disguises itself as religiosity.
3. The Church as a
spiritual mother
Paul
used that image:
Galatians
4:26
“But the Jerusalem above is free, which
is the mother of us all.”
Peter
also says:
1 Peter
2:2
“ Like newborn babies, crave
pure spiritual milk, so that you may grow thereby …”
✅ The Church nourishes, protects, teaches, and forms spiritual
children until they mature in character.
Honoring our spiritual mother involves :
· Support it with
resources and time, not just words.
· Do not abandon it
for personal comfort.
· Actively
collaborate in its growth and mission.
4. What if this commandment is telling us not to put our “gifts” or
“corbans” above the duty to support the work of our spiritual Father and
Mother?
Note
that:
· The man
in the example in Mark 7 said, “This is Corban,” that
is, this is “dedicated,” I cannot use it for what you need .
· Similarly,
many believers today reserve resources for “good things” in their eyes,
but do not allocate them to the support of the spiritual body that formed them.
This is a modern and subtle way of dishonoring our
spiritual Father and our spiritual Mother,
without realizing it.
✨ Spiritual conclusion of the fifth commandment
|
Literal
element |
Spiritual
sense |
|
Biological father |
God, source of life and spiritual authority |
|
Biological mother |
Church, which feeds and protects |
|
To honor = to value, to sustain, to care for |
Allocate resources, time and priority to
God's work |
|
Cursing parents = contempt |
Ignoring spiritual growth weakens community |
|
Long life = earthly blessing |
Eternal life in the Kingdom, spiritual
stability, maturity |
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