Before Christ: Divorce Tolerance and Spiritual Immaturity
Before the coming of the Word made flesh, humanity had no full revelation of who God was or of the transcendent purpose of marriage. The Old Testament contained commandments and regulations, but it could not implant God's character within human beings because the Holy Spirit had not yet been given to dwell in them (John 7:39).
Therefore, God permitted certain things that did not reflect His eternal ideal, such as divorce with a letter of repudiation . Jesus himself explained this:
“Because of the
hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the
beginning it was not so.”
(Matthew 19:8)
“ Hardness of heart” ( σκληροκαρδία – sklērkardía in Greek) reflects a fallen humanity, one that is carnal, selfish, and spiritually incapable of sustaining a lifelong union. In other words, God tolerated divorce as a temporary concession in an age when humanity could not yet understand or sustain the divine image that marriage represents .
With the Coming of the Word: The Revelation of the True Purpose
When Jesus Christ came to the world, He brought the full revelation of the Father (John 1:18) and the restoration of the original purpose: to form a divine family in His image, with children born not of flesh, but of the Spirit (John 3:6).
Jesus not only explained the true meaning of marriage, but also restored it as a spiritual symbol. That's why he says:
“He who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9)
“What God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
Jesus taught that marriage is permanent, not only because it is a commitment, but because it reflects God's eternal unity and His unfailing love for His people.
Now, in Christ: The Holy Spirit gives the power to love faithfully
The fundamental difference is here: now, as Christians, we have received the Spirit of God.
The Holy Spirit is not just energy or power, but it gives us the character of God. The fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) includes everything necessary to maintain a faithful, loving, and lasting marriage:
· Love ( ἀγάπη – agápē): a love that does not seek its own
· Patience: to endure weaknesses
· Kindness and goodness: to treat the spouse as a treasure
· Faithfulness: to fulfill the covenant, as God fulfills it
Now it is possible to be truly “one flesh,” not only in body, but also in soul and spirit, because the Spirit of God dwells in us.
Marriage: A Living Reflection of God's Family
Today we understand that marriage is not just a human convenience, but a living representation of the expanding Family of God.
· The husband represents the Son, who loves, guides and gives himself.
· The wife represents the Church, which respects, loves and responds.
· Both represent the unity that exists between the Father and the Son.
“Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
(Ephesians 5:25)
When we understand this, marriage ceases to be a relationship between two limited human beings, and becomes a divine school of love, sacrifice, forgiveness and fidelity, destined to form spiritual children with the character of God.
Conclusion
Before Christ, marriage was viewed in human, legal, and often patriarchal or functional terms. But now, in the light of the Gospel and with the Holy Spirit within us, marriage is revealed as an earthly manifestation of God's eternal purpose: to form a spiritual, holy, and united family.
God no longer tolerates divorce as before, because he has given us what we need to live his love in flesh and blood.
I had written the following addendum for the lengthier article about the seventh commandment, but I know that it also fits perfectly here.
Addendum: Sexual Union and Cleaving in Marital Covenant Theology
1. Introduction: The Embodied Theology of “One Flesh”
Genesis 2:24 establishes a foundational truth of biblical anthropology and covenantal theology:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
The phrase “one flesh” (אֶחָד בָּשָׂר) is both literal and symbolic. In the context of biblical Hebrew, IT IMPLIES A PHYSICAL UNION THROUGH SEXUAL INTIMACY, BUT ALSO A METAPHYSICAL UNITY THAT BINDS TWO PERSONS INTO A SINGLE RELATIONAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SPIRITUAL ENTITY. The marital act is thus not merely biological; it is sacramental in nature, reflecting the mystery of union between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:31–32).
2.
Sexual Union as Covenant Adhesion
Theological tradition recognizes that sexual pleasure, orgasm, climax, and ejaculatory union serve a divinely purposed role: TO FORGE AND REINFORCE MUTUAL SELF-GIVING AND CLEAVING BETWEEN SPOUSES. These elements are not evolutionary accidents but are part of the Creator’s design to make marital permanence possible and desirable.
In
this way, sex functions as a divine adhesive, maintaining and deepening the
marital bond with each act of love:
-
It reaffirms unity. –
- It regenerates affection. –
- It protects against division.
This aligns with Pauline teaching that: > “THE HUSBAND MUST FULFILL HIS DUTY TO HIS WIFE, AND LIKEWISE ALSO THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND” (1 Cor. 7:3, NASB).
3. Paul’s Warning and Satan’s Strategy: 1 Corinthians 7:5
In one of the clearest New Testament teachings on the covenantal function of sex, the Apostle Paul writes: > “DO NOT DEPRIVE ONE ANOTHER, EXCEPT BY AGREEMENT FOR A TIME, SO THAT YOU MAY DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO PRAYER, AND COME TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT SATAN DOES NOT TEMPT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SELF-CONTROL.” (1 Cor. 7:5, LSB)
This verse functions as both doctrinal instruction and practical safeguard:
-
Sexual abstinence is only permitted temporarily and
mutually agreed upon.
- Its purpose must be spiritual (fasting, prayer), not punitive or manipulative.
- Prolonged deprivation invites satanic temptation and exposes the marriage to spiritual breach.
Thus, Paul presents sexual unity as armor within marriage—fortifying both husband and wife against temptation and fragmentation.
4. Christ and the Pre-Flood Marital Ideal
Jesus Christ refers to “the beginning” (ἀπ᾽ ἀρχῆς) in Matthew 19:4–6 to emphasize the original pattern of indissoluble union, stating: > “FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO” (Matt. 19:8).
This “beginning” precedes the Mosaic concession of divorce. In pre-flood society, when humans lived uncorrupted by systemic evil, it was unthinkable to separate what had been united through sexual joy, shared purpose, and divine image-bearing. Separation only entered when:
-
Human selfishness distorted love
- Men became negligent or abusive in the marriage bed
- And Satan exploited the cracks left by a lack of due benevolence (1 Cor. 7:3–5)
As families fractured, society collapsed (Gen. 6:1–6; Luke 17:27).
5. The Image of God and Marital Sexual Ethics
The marital bond was designed to reflect the oneness of the Godhead:
- Unity in plurality
- Joy in mutual giving
- Generative love that brings forth life
Adultery, divorce, and neglect—especially in the sexual realm—violate that image. Conversely, mutual sexual love within marriage sustains that image and reaffirms the covenant.
To abstain from this union without cause is to reject the very means of cleaving that God instituted in Eden.
6.
Conclusion
Sex is not optional in marriage—it is essential to the covenantal structure. It serves:
- AS THE SPIRITUAL CEMENT THAT MAKES “ONE FLESH” REALITY
- AS A DEFENSIVE WALL AGAINST THE TEMPTER
- AND AS A SACRAMENT OF DAILY RECOMMITMENT TO LOVE
The Seventh Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” does not merely prohibit betrayal; it calls the couple to daily faithfulness, including sexual faithfulness, as a reflection of God’s covenant fidelity to His own family.
References
Pauline theology of marriage in Ephesians 5:31–32 reflects the “one flesh” union as a mystery (μυστήριον) that echoes the divine union between Christ and the Church. See also Craig S. Keener, Paul, Women & Wives: Marriage and Women’s Ministry in the Letters of Paul (Baker Academic, 1992), pp. 61–65.
Gordon J. Wenham, Genesis 1–15, Word Biblical Commentary Vol. 1 (Zondervan, 1987), notes on Gen. 2:24.
David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible (Eerdmans, 2002), especially ch. 4 on Pauline pastoral ethics.
Philip Payne, Man and Woman, One in Christ (Zondervan, 2009), explores sexual mutuality in 1 Corinthians 7.
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